Monday, October 31, 2005

i dreamt of z**** last nite
hahahaa
it was a...funny dream...
he has a gf le..or rather has someone he likes le..then we were in this office environment when he was on the phone with his gf..and he's nt using the phone he always use... then he was helping this girl with some ppt slides...he looks so happy n ai mei..funny...
then being very naughty i teased him abt it... "ay..talking to gf ah..smile until so sweet..let me see her pic leh...come on..." then i snatch his phone...when i finally got his phone i just couldnt find her pic..there isnt any pic of her...he's a technology idiot...dont know how to use such things one la...that's y his current hp is also so lan4 type....
then while teasing him i can feel that i'm nt feeling awkward or anything la.. then at this moment rite...my bf turns up...the bf in my dream la...and he's..ahemm...xxx...haahha!!! he came over and ask what we're doing...hmm qt unexpected to dream of him leh...it's more of a shock to dream of him than z****..hmmm....

i've been slping late..or rather very early these few days..cannot...must change back my bio clock...i slept at 5am this morning n woke up at 1pm this afternoon...piggy!!! and i din eat a meal since 1pm yesterday afternoon..it's another 24 hrs then i eat my 2nd meal.. i'm so unhealthy...and i was saying those guys being selfish men who dont take care of themselves...drink smoke n gamble...hahaha... dont eat well n slp late... hahaa...scolding myself leh..
okok have to mug hard..though it's difficult..but no choice rite..work hard ba!!!

2:01 pm

Saturday, October 29, 2005

how come all my friends are having relationship problems..even ...okok...yar...everyone telling me their problems...now it seems like my problems...but it's me who is bagua in the 1st place la...
a bit sad...sad that i've no prob to fret abt..haahhaa..okok i wuliao...but yar lor..cos i've no prob mah so these pple will tell me their prob..so now there's prob le...

wat's the biggest prob now??? i can't get down to study...no motivation...ahhhh...must come up with my own motivation..this cant go on...let me think of motivation....hmm..hv one...but...let me think over again ba...

yesterday nite i dreamt of someone...someone i nv thot i will dream of...the feeling is...unexpectedly good! heehheee yar woke up with a smile somemore..weird...

my birthday coming le...abt 2 more mths ba..so fast...entering the twenty club le..cant believe..in another yr i'll be 21!!! adult le...now i understand y adults always say they dont want to grow up...it's nt the growing old part..it's the sianz part..the path which i've been leading has been so predictable..i want to do something diff..but being a capri...it seems impossible...

last of all..a question..is holding hands with the person u love under the hot sun a very unromantic thing to do???wahahaha...dont like this la pple no experience..just curious mah...

1:42 am

Thursday, October 27, 2005

我觉得你的举止很可笑。
一下子唉声叹气，向我们诉苦。
一下子又委曲求全。
你没骨气！我打从心底地看不起你！
如果你不想放弃就不要跟我们说你想放弃。太无聊了。
浪费时间和精神。


但是，这是你的选择，我们无权顾问。
如果你开心，身为朋友的我们也不能说什么。
只能祝福你吧。

reminds me of dy...

11:21 pm

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

somehow i love wed...
can meet so many pple...so many friends...
can use msn during stats to while away the time....
after that can go acc and listen to the mr nice acc tutor..btw i think he looks like ah hock...hmmm....
then after acc tut can have lunch with the grp of friends playing those stupid games...really stupid...hahaha....then i'll go meet weixian for lunch again..ermm..yar..but i dont eat twice la...
so after all those lunches i'll go for ah hock's lesson...learn new lyrics and perspective of viewing things from him...cool!
then go home with weixian or go yz hall to slack then go for tuition...heeheheh....
then i'll go onliine and chat n play without feeling too guilty cos i've cleared my tut le..having a long weekend...

but no more le...today is the last normal wed le...last acc tut..last stats tut...last ah hock lesson...so sad...yz! u can tell jy that i also feel sad to know that today is actually my last tut...hehehee...

so now my mum say the whole family going le...haiz...after all those commotions...wuliao....

10:14 pm

《我也不想这样》
忽然間 毫無緣故 再多的愛 也不滿足
想你的眉目 想的迷糊 不知不覺讓我中毒
忽然間 很需要保護 假如世界一瞬間結束
假如你退出 我只是說假如
不是不明白 太想看清楚
反而讓你的面目變得模糊
越在乎的人 越小心安撫
反而連一個吻也留不住
我也不想這麼樣 反反覆覆 反正最後每個人都孤獨
你的甜蜜變成我的痛苦 離開你有沒有幫助
我也不想這麼樣 起起伏伏 反正每段關係都是孤獨
眼看感情變成一個包袱 都怪我太渴望得到 你的保護

8:20 pm

Monday, October 24, 2005

i'm stressed!!!
not because i cant finish studying my stuff..yar though it's still true that i cant finish my stuff..but that's nt the main reason...
i'm stressed becos the pple around me are stressed...and they are mugging really hard...sianz...
i wonder how i mug thru my Alvl n O lvl...y i'm not mugging as i used to be leh???
i think i've slack too much le...haiz..next sem cant be like this k...

haiz..havent taken exam but i'm already thinking of wat ge to take next sem... i miss ah hock already...AH HOCK!!!!! shld minor in sociology? or take cs stuff...or just rojak...still thinking thinking...

i'm very excited abt the standard chartered marathon thingy!!! haiz..better dont hv too high expectation otherwise like last yr..disappointing...so this yr at suntec again...sianz...aiya..realised i forgot to ask weixian to join!!! aHHH how could i...saded...maybe it'll not be as fun as previous years afterall... sadness...and yar it's still doreen who is in charge...sianz... i'm sure that guy with a rich daddy will be there this yr too...sianz...so wat is nt sianz abt this expo thingy leh?? the money!!! the packing!!! the shuai ang mo i'll meet!!!( we met a very cute korean guy 2 yrs ago n it happened that it was his birthday and we wish him a happy birthday...so sweet rite..yep...)

oh i realised somthing tooo...women are selfish creatures... shall elaborate in my subsequent entries...as for now..let me try to start on mkting while watching a date with vampire....yeah!! ma xiao ling!! yeah!!!

exciting days after exams....yeah!!!

12:01 am

Saturday, October 22, 2005

不是我不好
不是我比不上他
只是你不喜欢我罢了！

你有想起我吗？
没有的话，不是我的错
只是我的好，你不懂得欣赏吧！
给我一次机会
你会爱上我，可以吗？

~~张学友，《黑与白》专辑

4:52 pm

i want to change my blog layout!!! yes and i've many nice pic and lots of ideas to redesign this blog!!! but i cant start on it till exams are over...that's like another 2 to 3 weeks time ba...ignore my last paper..that shldnt be a big prob since i'm such a devoted student for that class..sick also must go n conc...yep...can even sacrifice my full hse for his lesson...but next week is my last lesson with him le..bu she de...wat am i to do in future without his lessons???nothing for me to look forward to...sadness...maybe i go n sit in n listen..hahahaha....yar can hor...hmmm...

so i'm online...doing nothing...just listening to those full hse songs again...cos my mum wants to listen to them so she ask me to on the com n play for her...yes..that's my mum... yx u want to know her too??? hahahaa... but once i on the com hor..that's it le...i'll surf here n there.. look at the pic in my com n delete stuff from my files...yep...doing all these unimportant things rather than studying...haiz...want to go shopping...want to do some art n craft...want to do cross stitch(yar the urge is here again...i've yet to complete the cross stitch i started 7 yrs ago)...want to learn knitting..hehee...want to dye my hair(i want to perm my hair...i crazy le..)...want to play my the sims2(it's spoilt..my bro doesnt want to fix for me)

do like pole attract or repel??? yes we're both looking for someone to take care of us...to love us..that's y we can nv be together..so u better dont try anything funny hor...dont say that 3 words hor...i'll kill u...爱你爱到杀死你...haahhaa...too bad i dont want another didi...and u cant be my gorgor... so...yep...

i want a gorgor... but that can nv happen le ba..cos u can want a didi or meimei..but how to give u a gor gor or jiejie??? hmmm...

"我爱你。全世界都可以知道，就是你不能."

1:27 pm

Friday, October 21, 2005

Personality Type Report for jasmine
Your Personality Preferences

EXTROVERT
You are social and outgoing. You are most comfortable when with other people and experiencing the world first hand. Interaction with others and first hand experiences energize you. It is not unlike you to start conversations with strangers. You have a preference for the outer world: people, activities, and things. Other people provide you with a mirror, sounding board to help you develop ideas and plans. Being alone may sap your energies. Your concept of the world is derived from experiencing it firsthand and then drawing conclusions.

SENSORY
You usually gather information with your senses: what you can see, hear, taste, touch and smell in the physical world. The facts gathered from the sensory data you process are the building blocks of your model of our world. You concentrate your energies on what actually exists and do not ponder what might exist too much. You are usually practical and rely on your common sense to guide you through the world. You see things as they are and have little or no need to search for underlying meanings.

JUDGING
You like decisions to be made as soon as possible. You are not comfortable with loose ends and like to see conflicts resolved as soon as possible. You have a preference for a well-structured, orderly lifestyle with few surprises. It may not be all that important who makes the decisions that gets things done as long things do get done. You take commitments very seriously. While you are not inflexible, you do like to stick to a plan once it is set into motion.

FEELING
You make decisions subjectively based upon your values and what is important to you. How people will be affected by your decisions is important to you. You are likely to make decisions based upon what you feel is acceptable and agreeable rather than what is logical. Your truths are founded in your values and those of the society you live in. It is important to remember that we are discussing how you evaluate data and make decisions, and that you rely on your feelings to do so in no way implies you are overly emotional.

Your Personality Type
Extrovert/Sensing/Feeling/Judging
You approach life with enthusiasm, and are very social and charming. You are compassionate, agreeable and cooperative. You like to be helpful-- an asset and want to be needed. You can be relied on to see things through. You're trustworthy and loyal. You do not like conflict. Harmony is definitely your ally. You do not like to be alone for too long, if at all.In relationships you are compassionate and considerate. You can be very talkative at times, and will strike up a conversation with almost anyone. You try to see the best in people. You are not one to take a stand that will offend others. You like attention and need validation of your value from others. Social status is important to you. You can be counted on to keep family and social traditions alive and well. .

Famous People of Your Type:William McKinley, William J. Clinton, Jack Benny, Desi Arnaz, Don Knotts, Terry Bradshaw, Sally Struthers, Mary Tyler Moore, Steve Spurrier, Sally Field, Danny Glover, Nancy Kerrigan, Elvis Stojko.

Occupations Suited to Your Type Include:Athlete, bookkeeper, caterer, coach, counselor, flight attendant, stylist, interior decorator, nurse, secretary, teacher, and telemarketer.
http://www.damegames.com/quizzes/per/passess.htm

so i shouldnt be in biz??? hahahaa..i can open a shop la..and be boss!!! who will give e money to open a shop??? da mai cao... u give me the money leh...if my shop is a success i'll pay u double...investment!!!

1:18 am

Thursday, October 20, 2005

whenever i'm bored or when there's something i can't figure out i'll want to do one thing... trim my eyebrow...

actually i'm qt proud of myself la..cos i trim my own eyebro!!! haahaha...not everyone can maintain their own eyebrow k..wy is one...heehehe..

i enjoy seeing my eyebrow neat n tidy..sometimes when i see others so untidy i'll hv the tendancy to want to help them trim..heheehe...yes free eyebrow trimming service anyone???

so next time u see my eyebrow very neat n tidy n well trimmed u know i'm either too bored or i'm troubled...

on the otherhand if my eyebrow is not trimmed..it shows i'm very busy...too busy to think of them...as in my eyebrow la...

11:41 pm

喜欢上一个人，我会很大方地说出来。
但是，当事人不会知道。

喜欢上一个人不是可耻的， 应该是值得骄傲的一件事 所以不要怕让别人知道。
我爱上了暗恋人的感觉了。暗恋是充满了猜疑，不安，暧昧和甜蜜的。
在暗恋的世界里，没有人能伤害你，只有自己会伤到自己。这叫做自虐。

有时我好希望有个哥哥，他能够保护我，照顾我，帮我做决定。
可能就因为这原因，我一直都认为年纪较大的男生比较适合我。
可能长期以来都是我照顾人，我喜欢别人，所以我要找一个爱我和懂得照顾我的人。

昨天有点被人照顾的感觉，好棒喔！虽然是出自于好心而已， 但已足够了。这让我更确定我是想让人照顾的。

不要对自己没信心。为了将来的那位mr ajo 我们要加油！ 做好准备迎接他吧！Aza Aza Fighting!!!

10:15 pm

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

so i'm sick...
they say u're most vulnerable when u're sick...physically n mentally...
yes..i feel very weak now...physically n mentally...

i remember there was once when my bro was sick for the whole week..
we were still qt young then..ard primary sch la..
then i was very jealous of my bro cos he has my parents attention...they attended to him n gave him watever he wants..and he can dont go to sch..i was jealous...i still remember we were waiting for the lift when i lost my temper n shouted at my parents" 你们疼弟弟，不疼我！我也要生病！" and true to my words... i really fell sick the following week... then during the week that i was sick my mum kept telling me that they love me too..just that my bro was sick so i should be understanding n not feel jealous... from then onwards i nv felt jealous of my bro anymore...

but these sometimes when i want myself to be sick to get attention from pple around me..esp when i seems to be transparent to them... yes that's how insecure i felt then...back in sec sch...

but that's no longer the case..this time round i kept telling myself not to fall ill...exams coming... mind over body... but on the otherhand...i want a rest...an excuse to give myself a break...

my whole body feeling very warm right now..i want to hug something...or someone... i think i need a snowman...

12:21 am

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

TILL THE END - CHEN DA WEI

All these precious moment
With you by my side
Must be a gift from heaven
That’s holding me all night
I don’t know how I found you
I’m thankful that I have
Now that I have a love so true
To hold, to keep, to share

*In my heart I can no longer hold inside
All of the love I used to hide
Ill always be with you until the very end

#In this world
There is no place I’d rather be
You are my life, my soul, my girl
You through it all
I know that you’ve come to see
That you’re the one
till the end

All my friends around me
Say you’d be gone too soon
Baby I’m gonna make them see
We’ve found our way back home
Repeat *, #

7:55 pm

Sunday, October 16, 2005

我想你从来没忘记他。 你只是把他藏起来。

其实我没想要忘记他。他带给我快乐。

可是我以为我放下了。原来，我还很在意。

10:42 pm

Friday, October 14, 2005

yes i went back to nj today..
yes i saw benzie on my way to sch...and yes he recognise me..so happy...
yes i saw ting too..but she didnt see me...
yes... i miss the days in nj...

no i didnt see ziwei today...
no i didnt the omelette i wanted to eat...
no i didnt regret going back to nj...

it's like back to the co days..but i no longer know everyone there..
the juniors are very nice to us...sometimes i feel younger than them...heehehe

suddenly... i miss him...
miss the days i'll crack my brain and do all the stupid stuff just to go home with him...
miss the days i look for him in the crowd and pretend didnt see him when he's in front of me...
miss the days i'll tell everyone "i like him"

realised that the happiest time i have this year is during the SYF preparation days...
there's alumni meetings n gatherings...
we will all return to nj and see our juniors practise...
and since he's not as busy as b4...i can go home with him...without much effort...
he will automatically wait for me and ask me whether i'm going home too...
then on our way home well talk abt anything n everything...there's exchange of views n opinions and we will try to convince each other with our arguements... but we'll not end up with a fight cos we respect each other opinions...
i really miss those conversations...they are meaningful...not crap...

i took the same bus route...walked the same path... once again i looked up...it's been a long time since i looked up at that window... i tot i've kicked that habit...but... i still looked up...

是想念等待他的感觉，还是想念他的人呢？
是喜欢上暗恋他的感觉，还是喜欢上他的人呢？
我很想念他。。。他们。。。

难道。。。我之前所说得都是在欺骗自己？

9:42 pm

Thursday, October 13, 2005

i've decided...i'll remain a good girl...
i can't be evil even though i would very much like to...
admit it..i'm just too kind...
but kind people are often bullied...haiz...suan le...

there's times we want someone by our side when everything goes wrong...
you dont want to think
dont want to think
you want that someone to think for you

i'm not despo k...
just that sometimes when u're too tired...
u hope there's this someone by your side to share your happiness n unhappiness...
yes friends can do the same
family too...
but
i'm like the moon...
despite having so many stars with me
i'm still not satisfied...
i'm still lonely...

yes i've gotten over him...
it's easier than i thought it would be...
no
i will not regret putting so much time on him..
the feelings were real too..
letting it go is not giving him up
i never have him in the 1st place...
letting it go
is to free myself...

eeks..so mushy...haahaahaa...

teewei says i'm on an emotion roller coaster...
yar i think so too..but nv realised it until he told me cos i forget those unhappy stuff too easily... i cant bring myself to hate anyone anymore...it's too tiring... i rather spend that energy to love someone...at least there'll be some memories to take with me when everything ends..but to hate someone..there's nothing...

maybe u're right...i go for old guys...

9:17 pm

他不爱我？他不爱我！他不爱我。。。 他不爱我。
从质疑到惊叹到沮丧到无奈。。。放下

今天我又被他感动了。虽然他是老头子，但他了解， 他明白。

他说体悟- 因体验了而领悟
但我心问，难道没体验就不会有领悟了吗？
那，我哪来的体悟呢？

其实。。。 。。。 一个人的生活也 不算太坏。。。
哈哈哈！

12:32 am

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

i dont know since when did i begin to hate the phrase "Friends forever" and also "take care"

1stly..wat is forever??? a lifetime??? how long can we live??? 80yrs? maybe...but in a geographic point of view it's a very short period of time...
什么是永远, 如果没有人看过永远...
moreover friends come and go so fast...esp as we grow older, the friends turnover rate is just too high for my comfort...
我越来越不相信永远了.

"take care take care"..."take good care of yourself"...
why must i take care of myself? why must i take good care of myself?
i've been taking great care of myself for the past 19yrs... over protected myself...
y can't u take care of me instead??? it's tiring to take care of myself all these while...
y keep asking me to take care of myself...
i refuse to...

if u're thinking of asking me whether i'm ok or not..i'm alright...
and plss dont ask me to take care...

11:06 pm

Monday, October 10, 2005

i'm very cool...yar... 外冷内热，这是我吧。

realised that my entries having more n more questions marks...why is that so???

read thru my past entries... i was more relaxed in the tone... now it's more serious n questioning....

今晚的月色很迷人。弥漫着一种气息，一种让人突然感到很寂寞的感觉。。。
月亮，你是寂寞的吧。
难道星星的陪伴还不够吗？还寂寞吗？
有时别太贪心，要知足。
这算是移情吗？我用对了吗？

我是应该祝福我的朋友的吧。

试着放大缺点能暂时解决问题。

i've been so good all my life..let me be evil for once...

11:53 pm

你是否愿意当第三者？
甚至是情妇？



我愿意。



惊讶？

原因很简单，得不到的是最好的。
可是我不会要求那个男人抛妇弃子。
我只是希望他能守在我身边。


什么笑话。。。
从我当情妇的那一刻，我已破坏了他的家庭。。。


罪过罪过。。。。

1:15 am

i forgot wat i wanted to blog abt... it's qt impt...but i forgot...i'll try to remember...

男人是否都是喜欢较弱的？
不会照顾自己的？
这才能突显他们的男子气概吧。

1:09 am

像不知不觉，我的态度越来越差了。
回到当初一样。
难道其实我从一开始就有预感？

12:34 am

Sunday, October 09, 2005

ok so i finally went shopping today...yeah!!! though it's a noisy shopping trip( cos my nephew kept crying n grumbling whenever we enter a shop) but still wonderful... contradicting..yar i know...i cant think now..too tired... legs aching n suffering from not enough slp...anyway..bought stuff!!! satisfied... but din reach my target yet..suppose to spend my 1mth's salary...so i spent less than that..haahaa

realised that i'm getting faster n faster when it comes to deciding whether i want to buy that thing or not... i spent less than 15min in the shop and decided to buy a top which cost me 35.90... it's not everyday that u can find me buying something so readily...ask yx n she knows best..hahaaha!!!

anyway... my nephew kept calling me 小麦草 cos my cousin taught him this term...it's actually a term for pple around our age la...or maybe even younger...yep... so now he calls me that whenever he calls me...dont know whether to laugh or scold him..hmm...but since he made it sounds so nice i shall not mind....heehehehe....

ok tml mkting again...havent finish the tut...i don't know wat's going on for mkting too la... din go for lec for dont know how many times le...dont even bother to print lec notes le... this is so not me... ok on the brighter side...exams going to be over in 1mth n 1 week's time...so it's very fast over...then i'll decide wat i'll want to do with my plan then...to excute or not... still pondering... it'll be a very exciting game...

9:42 pm

Saturday, October 08, 2005

等待是什么？
等待是寂寞的。
等待是痛苦的。
等待也可以是逃避问题的一种方式吧。
不过我认为他也不好过。

人类是爱自虐的，我仍然这么相信。

明明很爱你
却举棋不定，
不知是否想和你在一起。

明明很爱你
吵架了，
却不想先让步。

明明很爱你
却不能让你知道，
深怕伤害你。

明明很爱你。。。你却一直伤害我。。。还是我伤害了你？？？

感情里没有对与错
只有爱或不爱
还有爱，很爱，很爱很爱。。。
如果你还爱，请你不要放弃。。。

我祝你幸福，别想太多了！=)

(我没事啦。。。以上写的是给些朋友的。。。不管有多大件事，只要睡了一觉我就能康复！！！ 傻人有傻福。。。）

2:25 pm

Thursday, October 06, 2005

i was reading thru my previous blog entries...the fatimah....u know la...hmm...so i saw this entry..qt funny la... those were the happy times... when can i find such happiness again??? it's the simple kind of happiness...everyone having fun, everyone having a good time... happy...just that simple

woooah!!!5 days in genting...my emotions state is like on a roller coaster...up and down... large fluctuations...esp towards the last 2 days the amplitude was so great... i found out something i din want to know... sadness... y must i know abt it??? anyway let's focus on wat we did...

1st day...nothing happening...except that hunger haunt me throughout the bus ride up genting...heehhehee... so kept munching tibits lor...must be the pressure diff..hmmm...oh yar and crapping with lijun n yz for 3 hrs to prevent us frm stoning...i think that's a great method and we really chatted non-stop for 3 hrs...2nd day...got ready for rehearsal and competition...qt malu for the day cos yz n i kept being late for attendence taking...sorry to joel n gay kheng cos both of them kept running ard to look for us...hehehe....after the competition yz n i just changed out of our costumes and dump it on the bed...when we realised we got into finals we just look at each other and 1st tot is "our costumes!!!" hahaha...so e 1st thing we did when we got back was to iron our costumes...so clever...at nite is study session... went to wy's room to study cos yx went for meeting...yz was stoning all the time..need to kick her to wake her up hahahaa... anyway went to joel's n mimi's room to see some 'exhibition'some eruption going on apparently...shan't elaborate too much...???

3rd day...a sianz day...master classes and study sessions...haiz.. we were talking during the percussion session...that guy was really boring...his voice i mean... anyway i was qt amased as yiling, wenting and wilson was playing bridge using the 'cards' they made out of foolscape... zai!!! the dizi session was worst...i kept falling asleep.. and that ziwei kept thinking of way to tiao3 bo1 li2 jian1 between zhan n phang...so bad..anyway study session again... did a mindmap..at least accomplished something..but after that i started watching I guess*3 haiyo...then watched halfway i told yz i'm tired then she say sleep lor..then i really slept la..and both of us just fell asleep until i think gay kheng or wy knocked on our door and nobody replied..anyway i heard that ziwei went to the exco meeting room to ask for permission to go to the lobby to use the toilet to shit cos he can't shit in the room as the room will smell of shit...hahaaha.. i was laughing like siao when i heard cailing said it... if she was drinking or eating we would find a merlion in genting malaysia...when did merlion shift house...

4th day...theme park... i was hyper on that day la..suddenly so crazy...willing to try on any ride they suggested... i nv visited any theme park b4 k...cos i don't dare to take those rides...anyway i asked wilson which was his fave ride and his ans is... ferris wheel!! hahahaa...of cos that's his fave ride la.. a great show on board k... 2 pple who are afraid of ht were sharing the carriage with him...so u can imagine how comical the scene was...i was still qt steady la...just need to hold on to something..but the other guy he can't even look up and out... he just hid in the carriage until we rach almost ground lvl then he acted as if there's nothing happened... like wat wy said we look ass if there's only 2 pple in our carriage...hehehe...funny... we also took many kiddy rides la...so stupid...18 liao still play those children's rides...competition time again... everybody was tired la...
i was suffering the after-effect of flume-ride-immediately-after-mine-ride... dizzy...during rehearsal yz suddenly cry la.. i think she was pressurised cos she just can't seem to get her solo rite...i just left her alone...she need quiet... i think so...at least that's wat i'll want if i were her... started to say something lame to cheer her up...

so it's time... hmm...still tired but try to make myself feel excited...the performance wasn't our best la...but we still won!!!HAHAHA!!! got gold, best in our category and best overall!!! though we sharing this title with another malaysian schoold...but it doesn't matter...we sill won!!! hAHAHA... i was so stunned...i couldn't jump up as promised to wy... i tot i herd wrongly...hahahaa then everybody just started running to the front so cony...hahahhaa like primary sch kids...we shld be more gracious i tot..must spare a thot for the others who din win mah...anyway the excitment lasted for like half an hour then after the debrief u just see everyone guys and gals wearing that not-warm-at-all costumes and court shoes running to the cinema...don't care abt xing xiang hahahaa... in the 1st place no xing xiang to talk abt la...just run la...hahahaaa...so ahppy...ok watched hp again...boring... i slept for the last one hour...then yz was so engaged in the movie...after movie we went back to our room to change.. meet at the lobby for a few rounds of bridge..so stupid la at the lift lobby... then went to joel's room to cook noodles and eat...continued with bridge... was qt disgusted by 2 pple...they behave as if they're homo...cailing another 2 members in ur club...hahaha... they very erxin la...wilson and i were exchanging glares lor...so u can imagine how erxin they were... thot they will want to leave cos they kept saying very tired... but they din..sianz...in the end left 5 of us in joel's room...and the owner of the room weren't in the room...we chased them out hahahaa... haiz...went to room at 5am...slept at 5.30am...i was awaken by cailing and lijun who kept doing something to me...don't know wat they did la...so woke up at abt 7 i think isit???

5th day...after breackfast we packed up and get ready to check out...when i reach ground floor i saw my dad... suddenly don't feel like going off with my dad... i want to stay on with co...at least see them board the bus... a sad and bitter feeling overwhelm me..hugged wy n yx n yz... my dad was giggling away la... he was like saying u like going abroad for a few years...i just kept quiet...reached genting resort...saw my many aunties and uncles... very hungry but no mood to eat...so ate little blit la...if not my mum will nag again...feel very sad... haiz...but after i reached KL i felt better ... time for shopping!!! brought my 20 aunties and uncles to take the train... MRT la... so funny and chaotic...cos they don't hv escalators or the few old pple need to climb stairs...sorry la i also don't know mah...then must change train b4 we finallly reach shopping paradise...hahhaa...but i bought nothing only 1 flipflop...sianz...

i miss genting...miss co...

3:23 pm

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

wat am i doing here in a stats tutorial when i din do my tutorial at all??? just to come online??? stupid...could hv more sleep....

why am i in a stats tutorial when i dont hv accounting tutorial later and most of my friends still asleep in their bed...i want to play chess with ah zhou lor!!! i was hving a nice dream then i heard an irritating music...lalalalalaaa....my hp...it's ringing again...always ring at the wrong time...ahhh!!!

i want to play chess.....

ok so i think i asked a very direct question...yar..i'm surprised at myself too...but well... i guess i was in the mood for that question..hahaha sorry if i gave u a shock... u gave me a shock too lor..u hyper guy...so next time u know wat's ur identity question la...haahahhaa..shhh...

ok...ami going to cont to blog for the next 1.5 hr???it seems to be the case..so this will be a crappy n long entry...hey it's my blog la..it's a chnl for me to vent my unhappiness n share my happiness...so wat's the commotions abt all those blogs thingy??? ok racist stuff are really sensitive in s'pore but surely we can comment on it...when i say comment i dont mean u can abuse..scold..insult or watever..but just give ur views in an objective manner la...

today i shall not comment abt race but rather i would like to talk abt religion...religion is another sensitive topic... but do we just not discuss abt it just becos it's a sensitive issue??? no right...before i start i would like to affirm everyone this will not be a gp essay...ok i start le ah...personally i think everyone has the freedom to choose their religion...i mean it's wat u believe in mah so of cos u hv the choice la...just like there's no right or wrong in love, there's no right or wrong in religion..there's only believe or dont believe... makes sense??? one thing i dont understand is why a someone who dont believe in a certain religion would convert just for the sake of having the same religion as their spouse.. i wonder if they really believe in that religion... if they really do after the exposure then good for them...otherwise..they're just going to suffer... imagine waking up early in the morning n sit there n listen to all the stuff u dont believe in??? sleep is impt...so i'm a buddhist...not a faithful follower i must say... know nuts abt it... but... i seem to find peace whenever i visit the temple...so i nv given up on my religion...someday i must really ask cailing to tell me more...
ok enough abt religion..hopefully wat i've written is not offensive...

let's talk about 人生哲理...i'm very insipred by ah hock's teachings last week.. he's considered to be very romantic...a romantic ah pek..haahahah...well someone who could write touching sounds like <<她来听我的演唱会>>, <<天冷就回来>>, <<担心>>etc... must be romantic rite.. esp the 1st song...love it... and there's this 新谣 song which he wrote..forgot the title le..it reflects a woman's thinking so well... he's like always so calm n cool...nv seen him 狂笑too..aiya i like meet him for 3 hrs ever week only...okok enough of my 花痴...ok i've blogged for half an hour continuously...let me see how long i've written..still ok la.. can still write more... ok back to 人生哲理. so can a 失明者 see the world clearer than someone who hv sight??? 很多时候我们看不清楚因为有太多distractions...你要顾着看,听,摸,嗅,觉有时还要争着说, 也因此让我们无法兼顾, 迷失在这花团锦簇当中... 相反地, 失明的朋友少了视觉, 因此他们能更专心地去体会这世界,去感受那真理. 也因为少了视觉, 他们看不到世界的丑恶, 继续活在他们纯洁无知的天地. 那未何又不是一种福气呢?难得糊涂啊! 不知情者可以不必想, 知情者却不能不想,因为若要装不知情那会更痛苦. 所以有时我会恨自己太聪明,感觉太敏锐, 总是能够发觉其他人不知道的事. 是好是坏?

it's been 1 hr le..and i'm still blogging..it's going to end soon le..
i'm scare..she'll ask me those questions again...i'm not sure how i shld be feeling... or rather wat am i feeling... i feel so numb...回到原来的我...原来的我是安静的...是寂寞的...是不爱说话的...把心事隐藏的... 不被人猜透的...一句话:神秘的...这是大家认识的我吗?

当你拥有幸福时不要向我炫耀. 我很乐意祝福你, 但请别炫耀. 这只会让我更看不起你.

8:50 am

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

受了伤， 最快的治疗方式是什么？

就是让自己伤的更彻底。

很快。。。

2:08 am

生命是需要一些小快乐来提醒自己要知足。得不到的是最美的，也因如此，我们常忽略了我们现在拥有的。

听着jy的歌声，我被感动了。。。是歌太好听，是个声打动我，还是因为心情不好？
都是吧。。。

发现每当我心情不好时总爱把张小娴拿出来阅读。美以我总是能在她的书中得到启示。明天或许我再去买多一本吧。那是一本疗伤书。

还是那句话，治疗是需要时间。

《撕裂〉。。是这样写的吧。。我拭目以待。。

看着那张照片我就。。。嗨。。。我没权利说出那两个字。。。但是越看越越觉得恶心。。。 不看了。。。

1:09 am

Monday, October 03, 2005

You are the one...the only...Belle. You are spunky
and curious about the outside world, awaiting
your chance to live the adventure you've always
dreamed. Friends and family are important, but
you are mostly independent, seeking what's
underneath, rather than what's on the surface.

http://quizilla.com/users/redhot007/quizzes/A%20Royal%20Princess%20Quiz%20of%20a%20Disney%20Sort

8:13 pm